100% Lily--guard it from social media and give it to your passions, your loved ones, and the world of ideas. I was trying to figure out how to add the "attention economy" issue to to my essay without making the essay excessively long. Thanks for bringing it up!
Fullness can so quickly slip to overwhelm. Gosh, I really understand this.
When I begin to feel overwhelm, I try to slow down… I walk slower, I eat slower, I stop trying to be efficient, I don’t drive fast, I attempt to pay attention to one thing at a time (and it’s difficult!).
Thich Nhat Hahn (one of my favorite teachers) taught that we should be aware of the mana (sacred life force) in all things. In order to do this, he taught that we must move intentionally and with full awareness on everything.
I have found this so hard to do sometimes. Yet, it does help.
The classes / commitments sound like a good but busy choice. Do you have a moment to sit quietly to consider each one? With such a good but potentially stressful decision there, I try to center myself, calm and consider first one option (like choosing not to commit to one of them) and I imagine life having made that choice. Imagine days and weeks having decided no. Then be aware of how your body feels. Tense? Sad? Calm? Content? Then I go back to centering myself and calm, now considering that I have made the opposite choice.. I imagine the future three months, days, weeks, hours. Then I open my eyes and check how my body feels again.. sad, happy, centered, relieved, anxious, tired etc.
After I do that I usually know which choice to make.
I hope this is something that helps you as much as it does me. 💞
I love this comment Teyani, so many valuable gems. I really like the whole slow down thing--walking slower, driving slower, and esp. not trying to be efficient! Such great concrete advice.
And I too think about Thich Nhat Hahn so often when I'm trying to be mindful in the mundane moments--appreciating my tea kettle as I pour my hot water, etc. He's such a wonderful teacher.
Also, I really appreciate your tips for approaching how to decide what to commit--truly helpful--I love imagining my life and the feeling in my body if I made this choice or that choice. Thank you so much!
OH, my dear Sarah, I wish you were closer so I could come and hug you and hold your hand for a few still moments. I understand. It is hard to stop and measure our feelings, honestly evaluate our priorities, and - importantly - to allow ourselves the grace we give to others we love. No one has a right to demand that we do everything we can for everyone at all times; that no one includes the person we see in the mirror. Much love from Pennsylvania Paula
Thank you Paula--I hope it didn't seem like I was trying to say we should do everything we can for everyone at all times....I was actually thinking, when I wrote this essay, that what's hard for women especially is that we're taught to focus our attention on others and it takes years to learn to allow ourselves to focus on ourselves. But still, I was just struck by the subtlety of ways we can keep things at arm's length...this was a hard one to write--probably because I was so tired with the overwhelm!
No, I thought you were saying just the opposite, but that we so often fail to take that to heart in meaningful ways for ourselves. We can be (usually are) our worst critics.
This brought a tear of sweetness to me. Honoring Annalisa and her path of service to all of us. So simple, so fully committed to explore relationship with each of us. Gifting each of us with her full presence, her full attention, her ability be in the moment when she had so few moments left to share. Thank you. 🥲
Lissa, I was so blown over during our celebration of her life by that feeling, it was almost hard to facilitate the sharing section at the same time. A gift from beyond that she offered...I'm always so grateful for your presence and commitment as well.
Wonderful essay that definitely hits home. This past weekend I was reminded of the joys of in-depth focus. A friend and I took a nature walk and identified some wildflowers we had never seen before. At home that evening, I read a long essay about one of those plants, which prompted looking up information about related species. As you say, it is indeed restful to dive deep into something. When our attention is scattered, it feels like focusing takes too much work. But when we choose one thing and focus on it, it's actually easier than jumping around. And, as you say, so much more satisfying.
Modern life and the attention economy are really affecting us so much more than we truly realize.
Thank you, Sarah, for your insightful essays, week after week. You give me good things to think about.
I'm so glad it resonated. <3 It's interesting to discover that what the mind needs to flourish is really the opposite of what our culture is offering or even demanding of us. The whole multi-tasking thing is so over-rated. I don't know if I used to be good at it and am not any more, or if I just realize the truth now! I really dislike it. Thank you for your wonderful comment!
Overwhelm makes me crazy because I am not giving my attention to what I love my art. I get really cranky if I am not doing art or something like it or related to art. I question it everyday but I love doing art. I have to say It feels very indulgent at times and never guilty. No is often my word lately so I can paint. Really learning this a lot lately. Retired husband is ongoing with this. A friend who is retired I have had to say no, not doing that. Life gets shorter and my priorities are changing to be with people I love and doing my art. As a Woman I have felt it so important to Constantly Stand Up for myself and defend myself on an Ongoing Daily basis. It really has always been a difficult thing. You will find that your intuition will let you feel what is best for you.
So much to relate to here. I, too, have found friends who are retired think I am available to the same degree as they are because I work from home--especially if I join a non profit--I am very careful about that now. And yes, as a woman, so often we do need to Constantly Stand Up for ourselves because being "available" to everyone is the assumption. This is so confusing for me because, at the same time, I do also think giving my attention is an act of service and I don't like it when I am not present with people or thing--like my passions--art and gardening. For instance, I made a mistake with my seedlings that could have been corrected earlier and that really bummed me out because my attention was so divided. I think this is what I was thinking about when I wrote that. When I give too much of myself away, I'm everywhere and nowhere. And I also agree about needing to focus your attention on a few as opposed to the many--maintaining relationships takes energy and focus as well! Just conversing this way is clearing up my thinking about this--thanks so much for your comment Sally!
One is shaped by what we pay attention to. That’s why so much social media is destructive particularly on young minds. Guard your attention.
100% Lily--guard it from social media and give it to your passions, your loved ones, and the world of ideas. I was trying to figure out how to add the "attention economy" issue to to my essay without making the essay excessively long. Thanks for bringing it up!
Fullness can so quickly slip to overwhelm. Gosh, I really understand this.
When I begin to feel overwhelm, I try to slow down… I walk slower, I eat slower, I stop trying to be efficient, I don’t drive fast, I attempt to pay attention to one thing at a time (and it’s difficult!).
Thich Nhat Hahn (one of my favorite teachers) taught that we should be aware of the mana (sacred life force) in all things. In order to do this, he taught that we must move intentionally and with full awareness on everything.
I have found this so hard to do sometimes. Yet, it does help.
The classes / commitments sound like a good but busy choice. Do you have a moment to sit quietly to consider each one? With such a good but potentially stressful decision there, I try to center myself, calm and consider first one option (like choosing not to commit to one of them) and I imagine life having made that choice. Imagine days and weeks having decided no. Then be aware of how your body feels. Tense? Sad? Calm? Content? Then I go back to centering myself and calm, now considering that I have made the opposite choice.. I imagine the future three months, days, weeks, hours. Then I open my eyes and check how my body feels again.. sad, happy, centered, relieved, anxious, tired etc.
After I do that I usually know which choice to make.
I hope this is something that helps you as much as it does me. 💞
I love this comment Teyani, so many valuable gems. I really like the whole slow down thing--walking slower, driving slower, and esp. not trying to be efficient! Such great concrete advice.
And I too think about Thich Nhat Hahn so often when I'm trying to be mindful in the mundane moments--appreciating my tea kettle as I pour my hot water, etc. He's such a wonderful teacher.
Also, I really appreciate your tips for approaching how to decide what to commit--truly helpful--I love imagining my life and the feeling in my body if I made this choice or that choice. Thank you so much!
Teyani I love this process you describe. So helpful! I hope I remember it the next time I am faced with a choice I need to make.
Oh! Gosh, thanks Laura. It’s been a huge help to me over the years. The body doesn’t lie.
OH, my dear Sarah, I wish you were closer so I could come and hug you and hold your hand for a few still moments. I understand. It is hard to stop and measure our feelings, honestly evaluate our priorities, and - importantly - to allow ourselves the grace we give to others we love. No one has a right to demand that we do everything we can for everyone at all times; that no one includes the person we see in the mirror. Much love from Pennsylvania Paula
Thank you Paula--I hope it didn't seem like I was trying to say we should do everything we can for everyone at all times....I was actually thinking, when I wrote this essay, that what's hard for women especially is that we're taught to focus our attention on others and it takes years to learn to allow ourselves to focus on ourselves. But still, I was just struck by the subtlety of ways we can keep things at arm's length...this was a hard one to write--probably because I was so tired with the overwhelm!
No, I thought you were saying just the opposite, but that we so often fail to take that to heart in meaningful ways for ourselves. We can be (usually are) our worst critics.
Well, guilty as charged on that one! <3
Thank you for being you!
This brought a tear of sweetness to me. Honoring Annalisa and her path of service to all of us. So simple, so fully committed to explore relationship with each of us. Gifting each of us with her full presence, her full attention, her ability be in the moment when she had so few moments left to share. Thank you. 🥲
Lissa, I was so blown over during our celebration of her life by that feeling, it was almost hard to facilitate the sharing section at the same time. A gift from beyond that she offered...I'm always so grateful for your presence and commitment as well.
Wonderful essay that definitely hits home. This past weekend I was reminded of the joys of in-depth focus. A friend and I took a nature walk and identified some wildflowers we had never seen before. At home that evening, I read a long essay about one of those plants, which prompted looking up information about related species. As you say, it is indeed restful to dive deep into something. When our attention is scattered, it feels like focusing takes too much work. But when we choose one thing and focus on it, it's actually easier than jumping around. And, as you say, so much more satisfying.
Modern life and the attention economy are really affecting us so much more than we truly realize.
Thank you, Sarah, for your insightful essays, week after week. You give me good things to think about.
I'm so glad it resonated. <3 It's interesting to discover that what the mind needs to flourish is really the opposite of what our culture is offering or even demanding of us. The whole multi-tasking thing is so over-rated. I don't know if I used to be good at it and am not any more, or if I just realize the truth now! I really dislike it. Thank you for your wonderful comment!
Overwhelm makes me crazy because I am not giving my attention to what I love my art. I get really cranky if I am not doing art or something like it or related to art. I question it everyday but I love doing art. I have to say It feels very indulgent at times and never guilty. No is often my word lately so I can paint. Really learning this a lot lately. Retired husband is ongoing with this. A friend who is retired I have had to say no, not doing that. Life gets shorter and my priorities are changing to be with people I love and doing my art. As a Woman I have felt it so important to Constantly Stand Up for myself and defend myself on an Ongoing Daily basis. It really has always been a difficult thing. You will find that your intuition will let you feel what is best for you.
So much to relate to here. I, too, have found friends who are retired think I am available to the same degree as they are because I work from home--especially if I join a non profit--I am very careful about that now. And yes, as a woman, so often we do need to Constantly Stand Up for ourselves because being "available" to everyone is the assumption. This is so confusing for me because, at the same time, I do also think giving my attention is an act of service and I don't like it when I am not present with people or thing--like my passions--art and gardening. For instance, I made a mistake with my seedlings that could have been corrected earlier and that really bummed me out because my attention was so divided. I think this is what I was thinking about when I wrote that. When I give too much of myself away, I'm everywhere and nowhere. And I also agree about needing to focus your attention on a few as opposed to the many--maintaining relationships takes energy and focus as well! Just conversing this way is clearing up my thinking about this--thanks so much for your comment Sally!